I have a fabulous friend who I’ll call Naomi – because that’s her real name. She and her husband have been married ten years. At some point in those years, Naomi asked her husband to a church dance as if she were asking him to prom – in other words, extravagantly. I don’t remember all of the details. I do remember George (his real name) answered by spelling YES in Christmas lights on the roof of their house.
Ever since then, and almost every week, they have been asking each other out in cute and clever ways. (Sorry George, I know you’ll object to the word ‘cute’ but if the word fits…) A few weeks ago, Naomi found a cookie, teddy bear, and a cut up piece of paper in her car. Pieced together, it was a note asking her to go to a football game. Another time, her husband wrote a note on a Rubik’s cube and then messed it up. It was asking her to dinner. She answers in like-creative, inside joking ways.
At first, when she told me about it, I thought it was sweet – but not for seasoned veterans like me who hadn’t seen a date since… well… since… who could remember? But then, I decided I wanted me some of that. Not only the cutesy asking (which I’ve named the “Bawden Ask” – because Bawden is their real last name) but also the weekly dating. Yes please!
I’ve asked my husband out now three or four times in some seriously wackadoodle ways. There was this:
It says, “You’d be a sucker
Not to take your Super-Hot wife out tonight
Plan the date or I’ll kick your bum
Do a good job, you’ll get a kiss instead!”
I made those suckers. The super hot one was super hot.
Last week, I asked him to a basketball game (his fav pasttime and team) by taking a video of myself singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” (that would be called, what? a self-deo?) and then texting it to him.
But my favorite “ask” so far is when I realized by some fluke that I had a babysitter lined up for two Fridays in a row. I decided to play on the phrase of “double date.”
Look away if you’re easily embarrassed…
I bought a double D size bra, wrote a note on it, drove it to his work and left it in his car. It says, “Will you go on a double D date with me? Once tonight and again next week? If yes, hang this from your rear-view mirror.”
Now, my hubs, he can take a joke but he could also die of embarrassment. Luckily, he thought this was completely hilarious. So, he proudly hung it from the rear-view mirror in his car.
We laughed for weeks about this.
The thing is? The Bawden Ask? It’s magical. It makes me anticipate our dates the way I used to when I couldn’t tear myself from the front window of my parent’s home waiting for his car to drive up. (I was never one of those “be down in five minutes” girls – no sirree.) I really forgot what it was like to be excited to be with him. Ouch. That sounded harsh. But you know what I mean right? You grow accustomed to a face – like breathing out or breathing in.
I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face, My Fair Lady
But I’m so used to hear her say
“Good morning” ev’ry day.
Her joys, her woes,
Her highs, her lows,
Are second nature to me now;
Like breathing out and breathing in.
I’m very grateful she’s a woman
And so easy to forget;
Rather like a habit
One can always break-
I’ve grown accustomed to the trace
Of something in the air;
Accustomed to her face.
Again, harsh, I know. The easy to forget part stings a bit doesn’t it? But sometimes my husband is another pair of arms that can change diapers, a person whose stomach it’s my responsibility to fill, the bad guy stealing the blankets, etc. But I think the Bawden Ask is changing that for us.
You should probably try it. Then you should really thank the very real Bawden’s.