car shopping … take two

Mike Hale Acura in Murray, Utah.  Never, ever go there and be sure to tell them I didn’t send you.  After many car dealing shenanigans, we found a car there that I fell irrationally in love with.  Last night, we sealed the deal by putting down a deposit so we could buy it today.  Only.  They sold it to someone else last night.  After they took our deposit.  What the Hades?  I’m telling you.  Never go there.  Please.

And guys?  I am going through the stages of grief over this stupid car.  See?  Irrational.  Stupid of me really, to love a car.  But what do you expect?  This car was a symbol – of my motherhoodness shifting into overdrive.  WHY AM I BUYING A CAR TO SEAT 7 WHEN THERE ARE still only 4 OF US?  No one has promised me there would be five of us. Hinted, yes. Looking pretty good, yes.  All signs point to, yes. Promised, no.  But I had faith so I found a car that would fit us that also had a few bells and whistles (cuz I like me some whistles – sue me).

Now the car is gone and the real reason I cried about that today was not because the car had a spoiler.  It’s because, deep down, I know the possibility of baby sister joining our family could be gone just as fast.  And I am tired of having faith that it will all work out, that something wonderful is around the corner.  Because car dealers and foster care keep smacking me in the face.

The deposit of my whole heart is in this deal with now five-month-old little sister.  I do not want to take the call that breaks it.  Not having the car to put those dreams in … well, it makes me sad.

I can’t spend one more second on  I can’t say, “Sorry, not having memory seating IS a deal-breaker,” for the thousandth time.  I’m sick to death of hearing myself give the same specifications over and over.  I have been to at least 10 different car dealerships in the last month.  I can’t believe there is really I car I will like left in the world.  Hey. You’re surprised I’m over-dramatic?  Is this the first post of mine you’ve read?  Let me introduce myself.

I’m angry, impatient, depressed, and discouraged today.  I will probably be happy and hopeful tomorrow.  Tune in.

Goodbye little car, big symbol.

Goodbye little car, big symbol.



4 thoughts on “car shopping … take two

  1. It’s okay to be frustrated…and to vent! It is actually healthy. I have no doubt you’ll get over this little “bump” in your life’s journey. You guys are too awesome to let this get you down! You have always been an example of faith to me…tomorrow is a new day. Make it a good one with your wonderful hubby and two beautiful little guys! Love and miss you guys!!

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