open book open heart

I am ridiculous.  I mean it.  I like things planned, organized, predictable, controllable.  To such an extent that I don’t like surprises. Even good ones.  Even great ones.

If you’re throwing me a surprise party, you’d better factor in that for the first half hour, I will be grumpy because my mind is still shifting away from the old plan to the new plan.

I’m in my late 30’s (for one more year) and you would think by now, I’d be able to roll with some punches.  But no.  I’m so set in my ways.

We got a good family surprise today.  Something fun and planned but it somehow missed the calendar on my computer and the plan in my brain.  I had something dreadful planned for the day – car shopping for a vehicle with 3rd row seating – just in case we need it, and some more work on the dreaded  looming paper.  And then I found out we’d be spending the day at the amusement park instead.  Tickets already purchased 4 weeks ago.

Yippee right?  It really will be more fun to take my kids to the park.  They are over-the-moon excited.  And I’m brooding.  Really?  Brooding that I don’t have to spend my day miserably?  Sad that I have to have fun instead?  There is something seriously wrong with me.

So, it’s funny/strange that I have signed up for a life that, so far, has been filled with, last minute, life-changing phone calls (“you’re getting a baby, can you come right now?”).  The last time one of those calls came, I had just finished my dream planning board with the goal of getting my PhD.  That call changed my whole life trajectory and it came 7 months ago.  The dream board is still up and I’m still adjusting.  So, so happy about the different trajectory, don’t get me wrong.  But the brain plan still hasn’t quite adjusted.

See?

Wait.  What?  You don’t have a dream planning board?  You think I’m insane because I do?  Well.  You may be onto something there.  I won’t argue the point.