At the risk of being facebook status vague (you know what I mean… when a friend’s status says, “sad day” with no other details), I have suffered a disappointment today. And no. You’ll get no details. Instead I just want to talk about disappointment in general.
There seem to be two schools of thought on handling disappointment, one proactively depressing, and one retroactively depressing – but both -uh- depressing. My hubs and I practice on both ends of the spectrum – he proactive and me retro. Here’s what I mean. My husband manages disappointments by never getting his hopes up. I set my expectations in the stratosphere and consequently suffer devastating losses. This means hubs is sort of always a little sad and I am super happy then super sad. Which is better? Well, my way, of course. But which do you practice?
I’ll give you some hints:
- If you don’t announce a pregnancy until you are showing – just in case
- If you say, “I’m cautiously optimistic” whenever you get good news (This one is practically my husband’s motto)
- If you look for ways to protect your heart from extreme emotion
Then, you’re the proactive type.
- If you have a core group of 20 friends who must be called/texted whenever you see a hummingbird
- If you break into spontaneous song or dance when someone else gets good news
- If the words, “crushing blow” are in your vocabulary
Then, you’re the retroactive type.
Now, generally, I am proactive in life, but when it comes to managing my own expectations, forget about it. I’m all up and then all down. The down generally involves some ice cream and reruns of Project Runway – don’t judge, I know you have your own reality television guilty pleasure – try to deny it. When it’s a particularly devastating disappointment, it’ll be candy bars (yes, that’s plural) and the BBC 4-hour version of North and South. Today’s disappointment is a small one. I’ll save you a seat if you want to share a bowl of Death by Chocolate.
Sorry about the disappointment 😦 I’m virtually right there with you chowing down on Death by Chocolate and watching North and South (love, love that movie!). I’m definitely the proactive type, to the extreme, but still dive into the chocolate and movie (or book) when needed. Hope they’ve eased the disappointment for you.
So, I’m actually just dreaming of Death by Chocolate while writing my 30-page paper for school tonight. Sometimes, you have to just put off the ice cream eating and TV watching for real life but the first chance I get…
I am totally retroactive, I try to be proactive but I never actually pull it off, because I always get excited in the back of my mind, where I think I will be safe, and then when disappointment comes I crash but no one knows why. I handle my disappointments by eating gummy bears!
Ellen, gummy bears are yucky. Just sayin.
I am sad you are lonely-crashing. Call me next time!
Yeah for North & South and the uplift that always comes from that movie. Glad you told me about your blog; I’ve loved virtually catching up with you!
hls! You GAVE me North & South – a lifetime of comfort. You are the best!